Monday, August 10, 2009

We couldn't be happier...

Every Day, I would look at my wedding ring and think about happy past memories over the last 3 years and I would have strong feelings of nostalgia. The ring also would remind me of the beautiful things that couldn't be bought like the love that John, J.J. and I all share for eachother...A love so strong, nothing in the world could ever tarnish it. I thought about all the hard times that we had been through and realized that the origin of almost every single hard time was the result of just not having enough money to get by. 3 years of 5 dollar shirts at walmart, 10 dollar shoes at payless, looking into my almost empty food cupboard for something to cook us for dinner, losing our jobs, buying and losing our home, getting pregnant unexpectantly, renting a tiny apartment just big enough for beds, a couch, and a T.V., never going on a date with my hubby because we couldn't afford a babysitter. All these things brought so much stress and heart ache into our lives. And then I felt terribly guilty. For having this ring, so beautiful and perfect. When it was supposed to represent something beautiful, all I could see was how much we didn't need it...It was the only beautiful thing that we owned and I was wearing it knowing that with the money we spent on it, we could possibly get back on our feet.

I prayed to God that I would have the strength to put aside the things that didn't matter most in my life...

Mom always called me "The Crow" because I've always loved the shiny/sparkley things in life...and it's true, I love anything that shines or sparkles. Maybe because those things represent how I feel most of the time. I always wanted to live life to it's fullest, and always having something to give or offer that could make someone sad, feel happy.

So I went to John and told him these feelings of intense guilt that I had for wearing something so beautiful when we were in such a dark and ugly place in our lives. I told him that I was at peace with selling the ring. That it wouldn't be hard because it will mean that we can have a second chance at this money thing.

And I will tell you, It wasn't hard, or as hard as I felt it would be. God did give me that strength that I had asked for and needed so desperately. At first, John said, "No Way". He knew how much I loved it and didn't want me to have to get rid of the only material thing that I had left to my name. I assured him, that even though I felt fulnarable, stripped away of all my pride, it was a blessing that we had at least that ONE THING that could potentially give us what we need. I didn't feel entitled to the ring anymore. As far as I was concerned it belonged to God. So we both agreed that it was time to give it up. I told God, "Hey man, I've stripped away my pride, I'm naked and freezing out here, I'm putting this in your hands. Please help us out. PLEASE". The ring was listed on Craigslist and for a week. We lowered the price 3 times, each time feeling sicker and sicker with the thought of not being able to sell it for it's worth. And then a women named, Jolie emailed me.

She was looking at Kyacks on Craigslist and decided to just take a quick look at the "Rings" section. Jolie had her wedding ring for 20 years and in an unfortunate event, mis-placed it and it was lost forever. She felt like nothing could ever replace her wedding ring, so she wore cubic zirconia rings and had planned on doing that for the rest of her life. She loved the ring in its simple beauty. The next day we met at the Gateway, Z-Tejas and she bought the ring.

It was truly a miracle that we sold the ring so quickly. Right after we left the Gateway, we went to Walmart and bought a $40 Dollar Gold band. I have to say, I love my Gold band so much! Maybe it's because i'm so relieved to have the weight of my almost 2 caret diamond ring off of my shoulders. But I look at my new band now and It symbolizes the sacrifice that we made to make our marriage and the life of our little man better. It represents the beautiful things that people do for Love. I see the "New Beginning" in this band, and I couldn't be more proud to have such a wonderful husband and beautiful child. Just in the few days after we sold the ring, John and I have become closer and John's "Romantic" personality is back!!! For the first time, I look at my new ring and see meaning and understanding and most of all LOVE.

Jolie and I have a wonderful connection now because of the ring, and I am so very grateful to her and her family for not judging us in the least bit for our situation. We just felt so much love from both Jolie and her husband when we met them. I'm not sure they really know how much they really did help us, but those two have good Karma comin their way! We put the picture of Jolie and I on our fridge as a constant reminder of this time in our lives.

I've grown up a lot through this experience. It's a life lesson that I am so grateful for. It couldn't have gone any better than it did and We couldn't be happier...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I've Lost 20 Pounds!

It's Official! I've lost 20 pounds! BOO-YA BABY! 10 more pounds and I'll be Pre-Baby weight, YES... Can you beleive that it is snowing!? Well, I guess I can beleive it because Utah really does just have sparatic weather, but I am really missing the sun!

J.J. is Walking! It took him a little longer than most other kids we know, but he's 16 months and we are so excited for him! John is working hard and still loving his job. We won a 50$ I-Tunes gift card yesterday because John has been doing this thing online where you make up survey questions and if you get to a thousand, they give you the gift card. He was competing with this random guy that he didn't know, but it was a close call! It made me laugh that he was so into it! But it's awesome because now we can get the upgrade for my I-Pod Touch so that I can download Apps. It's so lame that the first generation I-Pod Touch doesn't have the tool to do apps!

John said that he knows what he is getting me for Mother's Day... I hope it's a vacuum or new cookwear! I need new pots and pans so badly...The ones I have were the cheapest set at Walmart and I've had them since we have been married! for 3 years. Cheap pots + lots of use = UGLY, UGLY, UGLY!!! They have rust so bad on the bottom and they stink when I use them! AHHHHH! Soon, we will be out of debt and we will have a little extra money...I'm so excited because we have been sleeping on two seperate beds that we have pushed together. We need a new mattress so badly! I have been hoping to get a real shower curtain and some curtains for my windows. It's sad, because we live in a darling apartment that was renovated right before we moved in, and we haven't been able to do much with it! It's a shotgun layout. It has two bedrooms and one bathroom and an adorable kitchen. Cealings are 10 feet high, which is So nice! and the windows are huge, which is nice for light, but not great for our energy bill. We've been cranking the heat up when it's cold. I can't complain, because we have almost everything that we need, but how great will it be to get the little things that tickle my fancy!

Yesterday, I was feeling sad about how plain my home was. So I went down into my basement to see if I could find anything to spice up our apartment. I found two lamps that I had in my bedroom when I lived at home. They are really pretty, but against a white wall like all the walls in our apartment, they look BLAH. The lamp shades were stark white, So I painted them with gold and brown paint that I mixed with water and they turned out to be really cute!

I used a sponge to paint them, it was super easy too! It only took about 15 minutes to paint the both of them!

I've been watching Good Things Utah a lot lately in the mornings and I can't tell you how many good ideas I have been getting from that show! I have a new favorite blogspot that I visit everyday. It's called They give away something everyday and all you have to do is put your name in the comments! It's super fun, I haven't won anything yet, but maybe I will soon! Well, I will keep you updated on everything else going on! Not much has happened these last few weeks, but here are a few pics that I have taken!

J.J. and Lauren, my best friend (Also my Duplex neighbor!) He Loves her so much. : D

I Changed my hair back to blonde! I Love it! This picture also shows that my face is getting slimmer! Yay!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Hey guys! So I've decided that I am going to start writing an updated bulletin every month or so for all of our friends and family. For everyone that wants to know what’s going on in the crazy lives of our little family.

So because I didn't start this until now, I'll catch you up for the last 2 months! On Jan. 7th Jaylen was admitted to the I.C.U. at Timponogas Hospital for a bacterial infection that he had in his blood. I was pretty tramatic for John and I. It really shook us up, but in the end, was a pretty humbling experience. He had a fever of 102.5 and rising. So they did a spinal tap to check for spinal meningitis. It was clear so they put the I.V. in and started a 3 day anti-biotic treatment. He showed steady improvement and his fever got lower and lower. He was released when his anti-biotic treatment was through and his vitals were good. We are so grateful that he is okay and well now.

Jaylen continues to get cuter and cuter everyday! He is starting to realize that his hands and arms are all connected to his little body and HE controls them! He has always been a binky baby, but with this newfound discovery of his hands, he frequently attempts to stick his entire fist into his mouth. We just laugh at him. He is also starting to giggle at everything. He likes funny faces, which isn’t too hard for us to make. So it works out. He was born with a massive amount of dark hair just like his daddy, but it is finally falling out. He officially has the bald spot on the back of his head from rubbing his head back and forth on the ground! We think it’s adorable. We just love him more than ever and we are so lucky to have such a happy baby!

John is loving his new job. His boss has been an amazing source of support and encouragement. John is so glad that he has finally found a job that applies to his degree, and feels really lucky that he actually likes what he does! John has been writing a lot. He wrote me a song that he played for me on his guitar. (He’s my little sweetheart!) He is also working on a screenplay inspired by his brother’s life.

I have been busy, busy, busy with baby. John has been so good about recognizing when I need a brake and takes over when he gets home from work. I just started working nights at my previous job to earn us some extra money. It has been really nice to be able to “go somewhere” after being home all day. : ) Well that’s just about everything that we have been up to. I will keep this bulletin updated as life happens! We love you all…